From the Royal Throne of the King of the Republic of Winghaven.

It has been brought to my attention by some of my Peasant Managers located throughout the Kingdom, that many of you are attempting to express your thoughts or show patriotism as if you live in the United States of America and were protected by a Constitution of some sort. Let this decree from the King on the first day of October in the year 2008 serve as a reminder that you live in the Republic of Winghaven and that your residence is ruled by a self-absorbed group of Peasant Managers who report any and all deviations of our community laws to me.



THEREFORE, let it be known that:

• No political signs of any kind may be placed in your yard, on your property or even at your office. In fact, as King I declare that you can no longer think about politics or watch political shows on your television. Violation of this law will result in a fine of 100 Rubles and loss of your television.
• Furthermore, I decree bumper stickers placed on autos are hereby banned. Violation of this law will result in immediate detention of said car and a fine of no less than 50 Rubles.
• This Republic is not a think tank for open, candid or frank discussion. Debate is not an option here. Free thought is in direct violation of this Kingdom's Rules and Regulations. Freedom of Speech was simply a mistake on the part of the former United States' founders. Fines of 300 Rubles.

However, let it not be said that this Kingdom is apathetic to the common good of its peasant class. It is your leadership's desire for you to be occasionally pleased. To that end, citizens, you are free to continue proudly with any or all of the Winghaven traditions listed below by this King:

• Christmas lights can be put up way too early and left up way too long after the holiday season comes to an end.
• Large, cheerful inflatable holiday decorations like the pumpkin, the turkey, the reindeer or Winghaven's beloved Santa are still welcome to lay flat on the ground or sit upright long after their respective holiday has passed.
• Christmas trees may still be cast to the side of your home and left there for months when their usefulness is exhausted.
• Dogs that have been approved for keeping by the King for citizens' private ownership can continue to roam free and relieve themselves anywhere or attack unsuspecting joggers.

Citizens, it is a good time to toil in the Republic of Winghaven. Now do as you're told!

Signed, The King

CC: His Loyal and Faithful Peasant Managers