• You don't have a mouth.
• You don't have arms, don't have anyone to hold the glass and drinking from straws is against your religion.
• You are pregnant or nursing. Please note that they have beer chapstick there so you could at least get a small taste.
• You are not at least 21.
• You live outside the midwest. That's probably the only reason that will truly get you off the hook. But you're still somewhat at fault because if you live in the US you coud easily make a special taste-test-trip. Click here for the locations.

If you do not fall into one of the categories above and still have not been by one of the schlafly locations, plain and simple, shame on you. I've been taking advantage of the "beer to go" by purchasing a nice half gallon growler full of the yummy number 15.